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Former Punjab Police chief Mohammad Mustafa and his wife, Razia Sultana, formerly Punjab’s PWD ministerhave been booked by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) for the alleged murder of their son, Aquil Akhtar. The couple strongly denies the accusation, claiming their son died of a drug overdose. In a recent interview, Mohammad Mustafa admitted that sending his son to a prestigious residential school was a mistake, as it was there that Aquil was first exposed to weed by classmates, eventually becoming dependent on drugs. His addiction grew so severe that he would become violent when deprived of drugs.
In another tragic incident, a well-known Chemistry teacher from Dehradun lost his 19-year-old son to a drug overdose. Highly sought after by students preparing for competitive exams, he abruptly stopped taking tuitions after his son’s death, revealing how deeply the loss affected him.
Contrasting these stories is the example of Kuhu Garg, daughter of Ashok Kumar and Alaknanda Ashok—former DGP of Uttarakhand and a professor at Pant Nagar University. Not only did Kuhu rise to become an international-level badminton player and a member of the silver medal–winning Uttarakhand team at the 38th National Games, she also secured a place in the IPS through the 2023 UPSC examination. Their son is an IIT graduate as well.
These examples reveal the vastly different outcomes of parenting approaches. In the first case, the parents’ demanding careers led them to send their son away, with tragic consequences despite their good intentions. In the second, a father’s professional commitments indirectly enabled his son’s misuse of easily available money, again ending in tragedy. In the third, both parents successfully balanced their careers with attentive, supportive parenting, allowing their children to flourish.
Effective parenting requires meaningful investments of both time and resources. Achieving a healthy work–life balance is essential. Before stepping into parenthood, couples must reflect on whether they are ready for this significant responsibility. One of my acquaintances, married for five years, still hesitates to start a family because both partners are deeply engrossed in their careers. This caution is understandable;children need consistent love, guidance, and care from both parents.
Modern parents often resort to handing gadgets to a fussy child to calm him, but this can quickly develop into problematic screen dependency. A mother once told her son’s teacher to be strict with him because he refused to listen to her and even turned aggressive in the absence of his father, who worked elsewhere. By contrast, the father of badminton star SainaNehwal spent countless hours supporting her training, diet, and overall development during her formative years.
I, too, sometimes regret not being the best parent. Preoccupied with my own struggles, I often overlooked my children’s emotional needs. Attempts to teach them frequently ended in frustration, as I tended to be harsh. It is crucial to understand and accept a child’s limitations. Not all children have the same abilities, and that should be respected. They must be encouraged to pursue careers and interests aligned with their strengths and passions. For instance, my daughter disliked Science and Mathematics but excelled in English, earning a scholarship. Today, she is doing exceptionally well in Psychology. My son, too, is following a career path of his own choosing.
Ultimately, I firmly believe that parenting is a blessing every couple should cherish. Maintaining work–life balance is essential, unchecked ambition often leads to unhappy outcomes. Be content with what you have, and dedicate time to enjoying life with your children and family.
Dr. Prashant Thapliyal
Associate Professor
Army Cadet College, IMA Dehradun
